last night<3

You are the sun, I am the moon, and I can only reflect whatever light you give me. If you are dark I’m dark. You control the way my fingers race over the lettered keys. Your anger radiates and we flow it back and forth until the friction creates enough heat to melt the fuse and your one liners are probably second-hand but you serenade me with promises of connection and affection, you point out our history unceremoniously as a Russian child would rip a ration card out from their parents pocked at Stalingrad. I secretly plead that my words pull some strings ad more than just unthought out words are thrown back as I resist from sending, which has more magnitude than the planned cause and effect truth my imagination conjures. Even when your words aren’t accurate they fill me with a desire to make dints and purple marks as strong as my desire to touch you. The pictures and posters that contrast my plain walls aren’t of your face. A single image is saved on my computer. A complex arrangement of light. A code that leaves trails on my face like slugs to carrots tears to gravity. A mechanical formation of emotionless symbols constructs memories. Nothing I can touch, nothing I can hold in my hands in the moment. And I want to walk into a darkened alley at this moment in the night and get someone to fire a gun anything to make you share the restless nights of anxiety and eventually dream in Atavan Havan. For you to hope your face is the first I see life returns to my salvaged body. For you to have the shock of maybe loosing something valuable, because my care means that I cant turn around without saying goodbye or even fire my own gun.