its so hard to keep faith in the only place i can trust when the risky sources are providing more than you. its hard to look at the evidence and form a smile on my face, when everythings contradicting and your not here to see it. i dont want the feelings i want what i dont have. im looking for new pathways but i havnt got any shovels out.

imagine you are sat on a plane seat. your flying over the lights of the destination. each glittering light has a mind behind it. you do not exist to those minds. you are the unknown just another body without a personality. then you move your view to the person sat next to you. a family member, a friend, a lover [ you are not alone]. you have affected or changed something with them. to them you are alive. you arnt just a percentage or a number or a faceless body. now imagine aagain if every mind in the world say everyone as lights. in times of darkness there was 60 billion glowing lights out there. the oposite of " invisivle monsters". now finaly imagine you look across to the person sitting behind you. you extend your hand and consequently give yourself a face and remove a viel forever., so why do our hands stay firmly pressed against our sides. maybe we dont want to disapoint or let another person down, maybe we fear their arm wont rise. maybe we enjoy the fact those tiny lights have no faces we can act liuke they are just lights we dont have to share the burden of what ever decays their insides. maybe we find comfort in the fact we have no identity to soo mnay people. 60 billion lights we just wont let them guide us.

we are happy and saved for you to write poetry of heartbrake and disaster yet are outraged at moments and pictures of hope + love. shouldnt this give us hope and love?

" and when the sky is falling dont look outside the window"
xo