what are we fighting for [ this is bullshit]

if the world was like some pop art drawing, with bold clear lines, bright colours, and over exageration with a little speech, i'm not sure things would move too fast. we spend our lives desperatly wasting time and wanting things to come quicker. so fast we miss that hole thats growing bigger and bigger the way a motorcyclist would miss a hole in the road because the speed blurrs things into one gray/black surface. the texture is almost lost. oh save your wasted breath, theres bigger cracks in this society today. shush dont cry for just yourself, your worlds not the only one crashing down. you crawl into bed and you are critisied for skipping on life. well they are rushing it you decide whats worse. every move they make damages something in whatever is needed to be kept so perfect. what harm am i doing lying in bed doing nothing but breathing.sure im not doing anything to help but i am not destructing anything but myself.
and your 'golden' touch is icy from the love thats been sucked from us both. and i could be wrapped up inside his arms laying in a crowded park but feel so alone. but the alone where you feel safe and secure with only one person to harm you...but they love you. but i want to let go. to let my self be taken advantage of to let myself slip into to pain that will drown me like a relentless ocean sucking me under, rendering me powerless completly under its control only to be washed up on a distant shore days later. lifeless and completly motionless. and hes the one searching the one that cares, the one i need. but my eyes only flicker open when im needed to be used again. i'm never going to be ready but i appear to be. and i may be controling things i felt submissive to before but ultimatly i will give in. it takes one sigh one second where you hold me. one time when you call for me..when you want me to rearange my thoughts and make me feel a completly different way. and then your name flashes onto my screen alerting me from my distant trance you were very much the centre of. i hold my breath hoping for an answer. the answer that cant exist.
oh i wish i could magicaly create one liners and such beautiful words i have only seen on a few occasions, maybe then i could make my own world feel less alone
i fucking heart you
you taught me everything it was to feel anything i feel. you make me understand. you helped me out. but now im slipping under
save me again
ill try not to fuck up this time
xo