urgh

what am i supposed to say
but i cant can i i cant say a fucking thing because that means that once again youve prove what we both know that your a fuck load stronger than me, and that you dont need me but i need you. im thinking if you fucking care or owe me shit you should at least say hi anything
say anything
but i cant think of anything to say but i feel it coming in like the rain thats drifting in on the summer that was supposed to be so amazing its covering every hope of the sunshine-every hope of what i wanted.
and the sleep is drifitng away and where id talk to you i have noone its fucking pathetic i dont even know if your alive...really. and nobody had told me your not okay so i hve to trust you are, but that trust died the day we said nothing more than fuck you. no amount of kissing in the rain and escaping friends who misunderstand, or living in the twilight[your favorite time] can fix a broken heart. and i know your getting over your frist true love but cant you spend a minute to think about someone you once cared about alot .aparently but does that matter as much as when said i love you. and every step is more uncertan and more and more feelings, feeling that get mixed up in a blender with things i dont understand. and how can i not understand something that is basically what ive done.maybe if i could write things as poetically as i wish [ god i keep mentioning that] id be able to reread and fugure it out but idk the swiftly moving tide has to sweep back over again before i can at least take a shot at it
note to self i miss you terribly...
we still wont feel anybetter
xo