make you smile =[

i dont care if i know what i'm doing is wrong...destructive...non-progressive.blame me for only wanting to surround myself with people and things sunken back in my history and past, the things i can be invovled with without being brought back to the future. if i remember the past what it was like how it felt i can avoid feeling the future. because to be oh so perfectly honest the future is the source of all my problems. the past will always be their and i'm not going to forget but the future brings it to life and fuels it with meaning...gives me a reason to be afraid. and this could even be party stolen from i harry potter book i'm not sure anymore but we only fear dying because of the unknown so if we fear the unknown we most certainly fear the future as all it is so unknown, our only hope is the past is only the future with the lights on.and just for the record harry potter shares some of the same ideas as lullaby by chuck palahniuk. the most intellectual of sources arent always the most intellegent...insightful.
and if i was to leave my house tonight and just run away...from everything...i would find myself making the same mistakes, killing the same dreams...loosing the same friends. because do i truely ever learn from myself?
and you can look at something someone is doing that is completely positive and realise the sadness of the world. there are people stuck in lower social classes and people only claim to care. if they really did they wouldnt look in distaste when they saw 'the scum of the earth'. seriously there are charities campagning for just about every fault in the world and it wouldnt be necassary if the people who really have the power to make a difference could care. but has communism ever been sucessful?
if i really didnt care i could ignore everything i have no reason to respond...but maybe the fact i care enough to press a button and spend about 10p is enough to keep anything going. and i'm not talking about anything that changes anyones life anymore. time changes everything so things have to get worse or better
its all a game of this or that now vrs then better off against worse for wear amd you're someone who knows someone who knows someone i once knew i choose that,then,and worse for wear
honestly
you constantly rot my mind
xo