just wait for me so far away

you wont see me in any colour for a few days now. simply because there isnt any need in a world so burnt and unrelfective. and ive been missing out on the sunsets because they are basically too early. my speach has been ineloquent and my walls so brightly harsh they burn way past my eyes into my heart and make everything so much darker. everythings just a story of new hair, new lowers and old feelings. i couldn't hold onto you even if i wanted to. so the glow sticks gonna get smeared onto our faces and for a few seconds its silent in the noisiest rooms our hearts beating our lung breathing. and we're not quiet sure. we're not sure if our best friends are gonna make it through tomorrow night. our old lovers are gonna stay sane and productive. ourselfs are every going to sleep without music to send us that way. then the music snaps back and our hands are covered in ink thats only evidence of where theyve been in our semi consiousness. they leav a trail that shows the scars on our fathers minds. the unspoken secrets and times we just couldnt leave the safety of our own rooms. and the music is screaming into our brains and its hurt so fucking badly but its slwoing our heart rates and sending us possibly to sleep. you cant blame me for panicking right now cause i think you would too. and if shes right on that very edge that youve read about so many times, heart about listened to. your gonna be so fucking scared. because the hardest part is you know youve been there too,,,and your still fighting to crawl away from it. its fucking hard
more truth is i'm sick of not being involved. to quote " im trying to participate" because thats all that i need right now. you mightlive through the drugs that fake life. but thats all it is fake life like your fake smile. and you couldnt make things feel real for me because your as flat as thoose little arms that brake the necks and shoot the heads. slef destructive and mutualistic its clear that tis ripping to shreds in neat and tidy lines. oh and i knwo someone will enjoy it just as much as me . and this aint what you think i can predict that as easily as meteorology as clear as a smile to the camera with fake bulbs your never gonna take notice. you never truely look and thats heart breaking. i know you never want to care. i know i have a few more years before i can predict my date of death. and i may be a fucking hypocrite beucase of what i preech to you but somehow it seems different out loud than in my head. fucking this hypocrisy.
and it may be all blakc but my jeans have faded to grey along with the outer city skys. the spelling has faded to white and nothign ranges off of the scale of black to white. the musics pausing again.
for real its broke my ashed out heart. the tears keep leaving our very eyes and nobodys knows. its gonna stay that way

for real i dont know where id be without you
xo

oh and it seems that everything i ever felt has been transfered onto her. and i dont feel anything for him [thats you to someone]