YOU WOULDNT KNOW A GOOD THING IF IT CAME UP AND SLIT YOUR THROAT

i wish you could be reading this, but lets face it theres no fucking way. you make me feel even to myself like a fucking pathetic needy whore. and the only people i need arent fucking around and i cant talk to them because i dont know their reactions. but deep down i wish there was someone who would notice and pull 'it' away and just look after me. youd be a fucking hypocrite wouldnt you. youd tell me to stop being so fucking pathetic and i dont know anything about feeling shit.why did you do it then? go on give me one good reason...even if you have been through shit in your life you did it becuase she fucking hates you. sound fucking familiar, it should. she still hates you. you fell for the one who doesnt return it. first chance it was soo superficial second time you fucked it up most probably now she hates you. and now this time she can do so much better and she probably knows it, i hope you know it. everyone was too good for you really. and now youll go through so many emptying 'iloveyou' of any value it has left. just remember i created SOME feeling with those words you never heard before, even if you fucking didnt feel the same. but then i wasnt good enough for you and to be perfectly honest i'm not good enough for you. i'm never good enough for anyone i want but at least i remember to feel for you. baby id stroke away the tears as they fall, they sting open wounds and scars you know. sometime ill be waiting and youll be left again just have the sense to come back to something thats at least friendship. i cant get rid of you as easily as you can get ride of me. youve sucked everythingfuckingmeaningful out of my emotions you fucking stole it. how many more things do you wanna steal. oh no not from me i wont let it happen.well maybe just one more time but not for long. go to someone else ill be happy as long as you always move back to my windowsil you can climb my fucking roof ill hold your hand and pull you through the window. i wont let go. and ill go outside onto the roof again and look at the stars. we might not have ment to be together but one things fucking certain we both sure love looking at the same sunsets and twilights.you cant deny it. and every baby that slips off my fingertips is filled with the spite that couldnt escape my vocal chords. the smell of metal is filling my head, one more time, but its not the last. oh no i can assure you from the corners of your dull eyes my glance will sink into the black holes in the center,all the way from across the room. from the moments where we obviosuly avoided our eyes crossing like lasers back to the moments where wed fight for one more second of contact. theres no point in wishing that the person behind those black and white keys will save me from the breathing youve taken away, but a late night with a pen and thoughtless words might just act on my heart like morphine. maybe...
xo