first try

you scrawled love fueled letters on walls, smudged out the past like water trickling on mirrrored glass, your lips tremble from the thought of open ended ocean with nothing blocking your way [out]

through night stars your eyes shine birght whatever you do your always saving me from myself as long as you stay, if your heart shatters you cna keep mine just dont walk away, try to hold her tonight, try to feel her lips one more time, her eyes blink away you've lost her smile and the suns setting on your open heart youre left on the warm sand and thats where youll sleep tonight, alone ecept the flickering fire waiting for the shimmering waves to wash it out

its the best i can do to keep my eyes dry from feeling oh so desperatly destructive for myself,

hold onto you tight to make the world spin by faster because alone its leaving us behind

everymemory i cant bear to keep ill throw it at you to see if you feel anything


shaped in the same way as a good-bye note but the size of an appology
truefuckinglove...in the most sincire way
xo

i hope you're as happy as you're pretending

Swerve your heart to avoid the pile up you come so close to joining. Your breathing is dancing too close to the edge of uncertainty. Prove one more time I’m setting myself up for jealousy. I've got petrol in one hand and a lighter in the other, I always knew which house I’m walking to. Scream I’m still crazy when you’re already faking your future. Block your ears from vibrations of apologies; slide your wrists out of the restraints that are forgiveness. Lying won’t save you from denying fashion. You can hit me with the spikes of your drunken memories, but hold the late nights in a titanium locked and carve this apology into stone its the last time I wont mean it. Someday my hands wont reach but my eyes will follow you to the floor.
xo

YOU WOULDNT KNOW A GOOD THING IF IT CAME UP AND SLIT YOUR THROAT

i wish you could be reading this, but lets face it theres no fucking way. you make me feel even to myself like a fucking pathetic needy whore. and the only people i need arent fucking around and i cant talk to them because i dont know their reactions. but deep down i wish there was someone who would notice and pull 'it' away and just look after me. youd be a fucking hypocrite wouldnt you. youd tell me to stop being so fucking pathetic and i dont know anything about feeling shit.why did you do it then? go on give me one good reason...even if you have been through shit in your life you did it becuase she fucking hates you. sound fucking familiar, it should. she still hates you. you fell for the one who doesnt return it. first chance it was soo superficial second time you fucked it up most probably now she hates you. and now this time she can do so much better and she probably knows it, i hope you know it. everyone was too good for you really. and now youll go through so many emptying 'iloveyou' of any value it has left. just remember i created SOME feeling with those words you never heard before, even if you fucking didnt feel the same. but then i wasnt good enough for you and to be perfectly honest i'm not good enough for you. i'm never good enough for anyone i want but at least i remember to feel for you. baby id stroke away the tears as they fall, they sting open wounds and scars you know. sometime ill be waiting and youll be left again just have the sense to come back to something thats at least friendship. i cant get rid of you as easily as you can get ride of me. youve sucked everythingfuckingmeaningful out of my emotions you fucking stole it. how many more things do you wanna steal. oh no not from me i wont let it happen.well maybe just one more time but not for long. go to someone else ill be happy as long as you always move back to my windowsil you can climb my fucking roof ill hold your hand and pull you through the window. i wont let go. and ill go outside onto the roof again and look at the stars. we might not have ment to be together but one things fucking certain we both sure love looking at the same sunsets and twilights.you cant deny it. and every baby that slips off my fingertips is filled with the spite that couldnt escape my vocal chords. the smell of metal is filling my head, one more time, but its not the last. oh no i can assure you from the corners of your dull eyes my glance will sink into the black holes in the center,all the way from across the room. from the moments where we obviosuly avoided our eyes crossing like lasers back to the moments where wed fight for one more second of contact. theres no point in wishing that the person behind those black and white keys will save me from the breathing youve taken away, but a late night with a pen and thoughtless words might just act on my heart like morphine. maybe...
xo